It's kinda like the show Big Brother but without all the drama...

Week 2 of my SPLICE mission conference has come and gone.  I know my title is kind of odd, but it's true; it feels a bit like being in the Big Brother or Real World house for three weeks.  We eat together, hang out in the evenings together, have deep talks together, watch movies together, cry together...As I'm sitting here typing on my laptop while watching all the children of the future missionary families dancing to "Pharaoh Pharaoh," I'm realizing how much you can grow to care and appreciate a group of people in such a short period of time.  Everyone here is planning on going to the mission field, so that by default is a common bond that we all have.  There are about 40 adults and probably 20 or so kiddos, and I feel like I could sit down and chat with any and all of them.  I have my group of precious kids that I color with several nights a week, and the group of us "grownups" that play Sporkle.com quizzes to test our knowledge of geography or Disney songs.  Part of me feels like I've been here FOREVER, but most of me feels like I'm going to miss the wonderful community that has been created among all of us.

So what exactly have I been doing when I'm not watching movies or eating or writing blogs?  Every day is spent in several workshops covering different topics.  Really, this conference is a Christian leadership conference for believers wanting to answer the call to live overseas.  We've talked a lot about our conflict handling style, which hasn't been easy when it comes to talking about what demotivates others about our style.  But in reality, we ALL have to deal with conflict.  And moving to a new culture, there will probably be more stress and therefore, more conflict.  We've talked about dealing with adversity and what the Bible says about it.  I even got to be the class scribe as we discussed the cycle that we will most likely face as we leave our culture and become resettled in a new culture.  

The idea that I had that I was going to go to this conference and feel super encouraged and affirmed as a future missionary isn't exactly what it's turned out to be.  It's been a lot of soul searching, praying, digging deep, and talking about some of the really hard things that are just part of being a serious Christ follower.  But I've come to realize that this is what I need; I NEED to be challenged to think about some things that I might not have otherwise been willing to process.  And I still do feel encouraged and confirmed about my call to join SI: Costa Rica.  But I also feel challenged to continue to focus on the Lord and allow Him to be my source and my strength, because there are undoubtedly a lot of changes and difficulties ahead.   Jesus also faced a lot of difficulties in his life.  And that gives me hope.

Colorado

A week of class has passed by, and lots of thinking, processing and praying to go along with that.  Rather than get into all the deep things that I've been learning and talking about, I thought I'd post some pictures of the pretty places I got to visit yesterday.  It was a wonderful change to get out in nature after being contained in a building (albeit a very nice building) for the past five days straight.  A few of us were joking that it felt like we were in a really nice prison with yummy food, which is far from the truth; but for an independent lady like me, staying in one place for three weeks with no car of my own can feel a bit constraining. 

A view of Pike's Peak from about 11,000 feet.  That's as far as we could go up because of the extreme wind.

 

 

 

 

New friends Austin and Jill, part of the Students International staff in Nicaragua.

 

 

 

Beautiful frozen lake

We debated whether this was the "Sleeping Giant" rock formation, but I'm sticking to a yes.  Can you see him? :)

More cool rock formations at Garden of the Gods

Answers to Prayer

Today begins a new adventure in my path to Costa Rica.  For the next three weeks I will be at a training facility in the Colorado Springs area to learn how to be a missionary.  Well, not exactly "how" but we will be having a lot of sessions on how to move to, live in, and minister in a new culture.  I don't know a lot more about what to expect besides that, but I'm trusting and praying that God will teach me and grow in me in the ways that I need to be taught and grown (I don't know if that is the way to say that :).  I arrived a bit early to the airport so while I'm waiting for the shuttle service, I thought I'd update my blog.

The past few weeks there have been many answers to prayer, some huge answers, and some not as big, but all blessings just the same.  First of all, the fact that I'm going to my missionary training during this January session rather than the February session I originally thought is a huge answer to prayer.  Now I will be able to train with some of the other Students International new staffers going to Nicaragua, as well as be back in California for the birth of my brother's first son or daughter.  I am so thrilled that I won't be out of state (or the country) for that special event in our family.

A GIGANTIC answer to prayer is that as of this past week, I am fully funded with my monthly support!!  I had three more dear friends join my support team, and I am just so blessed to know that my monthly goal of $2000 has been met!  Praise Him because I know it's nothing that I have done to earn or deserve this.

A smaller blessing, but important just the same, is a special gift that was given to me by my dear girlfriends.  They were thinking ahead to my need to become fluent in Spanish and so they pooled together and bought me a side by side Spanish/English Bible!  It was perfect timing because I had just that very day been thinking about getting a new Bible to replace my falling apart one and start this new chapter of life with.  What a special and very appropriate gift that was.

I anticipate that I will be updating my blog more frequently over the next three weeks while I'm in Colorado.  I would cherish your prayers as God teaches and molds me in the ways that are needed.

Below I'm posting two pics; one of me and two of the fantastic ladies that are going to be joining the Costa Rica staff a few months after I do (thanks for the picture, Rose! :) and then the other of a trip to Yosemite with my friends for New Years Eve.

Prayer card!

Here's what my prayer card looks like.  If you are on my newsletter mailing list, you should be getting one in the mail very soon!  A  HUGE thank you to Jessica Haynes for being my photographer and my graphic designer.  :)  If you are not on my mailing list but would like to be, e-mail me tarakfrantz@gmail.com. 

2012, it's gonna be swell...

Happy New Year!  It's hard to believe that 2012 has arrived.  So much has happened in the last twelve months, and so much more is going to happen in the next few months.  Life has been a whirlwind since my last blog entry, but I'm thankful for all the wonderful moments that I've been able to spend with many of the special people in my life.  Here's just a bit of the highlights:

• went to a FABULOUS Christmas concert at a church in Fresno that featured 8 different Christian artists, including my favorite, Tyrone Wells.  I was able to shake his hand and chat with him for a bit after the show, and that was just the icing on the cake.  :)
• yummy dinner and salsa dancing with my two soon-to-be roommates, Cailah and Rose.  Cailah is here visiting family and friends over her break from working in Costa Rica and Rose will be joining the SI staff a few months after I get down there.  Lots of laughs and silly moments indicated many good times ahead with these ladies.
• hanging out with three dear friends from high school and college and two of their darling baby boys!  What a precious gift to spend time with my friends' babies.
• three Christmases in two days with both sides of the family.  I am blessed to have parents, grandparents, and extended family who love the Lord and desire to honor Him in our celebration of His birth.  
• a Christmas breakfast and party with my Visalia girls where we drew a name and made a homemade gift for our "secret santa."  I do not consider myself very creative and was blown away by the ideas these girls came up with.  I have much to learn!
• beach trip with the Frantz family for two nights.  It was the last time the six of us will be able to go to Pismo before my brother and sister-in-law have their baby and I move.  A fabulous dinner at McClintock's and quality time together was much needed 
• and to end/begin 2011/2012, a trip up to Yosemite to enjoy the Lord's beautiful creation and go ice-skating!  So much fun and my rollerblading skills proved to transfer to the ice rink just fine.  

Oh, and in the middle of all these wonderful adventures and time spent with loved ones, I moved out of the house my roommate Kristin and I had been in for the past few years and moved in with my cousin and dear friend Annie.  A really neat blessing that came out of the moving process was something that happened when I was selling some of my furniture.  I put some pictures up on facebook of furniture I had for sale and I sold two of the three pieces the following day to a gal I knew from college.  The following day I put my couch up on craigslist and had several people interested real quick.  The lady that ended up coming to buy the couch brought with her a family from Dinuba who had a truck to help her move it.  The women that the truck belonged to looked at my room filled with bags and asked what I was going to do with all that stuff.  I responded that I was planning on donating it and she proceeded to tell me that she would be happy to take it because she works for a church that gives clothes and other things to needy children and families.  Long story short, I sold my couch for the price I asked for it AND had my living room cleared out of a TON of donated items all in one swipe.  I think the Lord knew that I was feeling stressed and crunched for time and He sent just the perfect person to buy my couch and to take my donations. And we wonder why we EVER doubt if He hears us and answers our prayers!

I'm looking forward to the new staff training with Students' International that I will be attending this Wednesday through Friday.  It will be so great to see my field directors again and also to get to know this organization I'm coming on board with better. :) 

Tears Part II

Friday was the day I said goodbye to my students.  It was the first group of people that I am going to say goodbye to before I relocate to Costa Rica.  I don't think I was really prepared for the day or what exactly it would all look like, I just knew that I wanted it to be special and say "good good-byes" as I had been wisely advised.  For the past few weeks we had been talking about how we were going to have a party on the last day of school to celebrate Christmas and say goodbye to Miss Frantz.  The notes had been written to the parents, the snacks and paper goods had been purchased, the individualized Christmas cards to students had been filled out.  I had already been receiving sweet notes from my first graders and other students at the school that week, telling me that they were going to miss me.

Friday came and I got there early because I had yard duty.  Side note, it was by far one of the coldest mornings we've had this December, so I was decked out in my snowboarding jacket, fluffy boots, mittens, etc.  My janitor came in to bring some snacks he had bought for his son, who is one of my students.  He gave me a hug and told me how he was going to miss joking around with me and how he was so glad his son had me as his teacher and I just lost it.  I was not planning on crying with the first person I talked to on Friday morning, but there it was.  Moving on to breakfast...at my school, every morning the teachers go into the cafeteria to pick up the students from breakfast while the our principal is giving announcements.  My good intentions were to take the microphone and share some heartfelt words with the student body about how I was going to miss them.  My principal beat me to it and had them all say "Costa Rica" in unison and clap for me, and I just couldn't do it.  Second round of tears.


Once we were inside our classroom, I was able to pull myself together and we had a good morning of me opening my presents from the students and reading the sweet notes they gave me, and reading two of my favorite Christmas books to them.  The morning passed quickly with different activities and the ever important task of cleaning out their desks.  When we went out to recess, I was bombarded by 2nd-5th grade students, mostly girls, who came up to me in little groups and gave hugs and more notes.  That was really special to me because between my classroom students, after school Enrichment students, and intervention groups I run, I know almost every student at Malaga School.  Having a chance to say goodbye to a lot of those students individually was something I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do and was pleased it worked itself out.

Our class "party" consisted of more bags of chips, Christmas cookies, juice boxes, and Little Ceasar's Pizza than four classrooms should have consummed.  We eventually packed up, sent each student home with a bag bulging with snacks, and made a circle outside.  Again, not really knowing what to say exactly, I tearfully told them that I was really going to miss them and that I was sorry I wasn't going to be their teacher after Christmas.  I told them I was really glad that they had a wonderful new teacher coming and that I wanted them all to keep working hard.  I also told them that I loved them and wanted to make sure they wrote to me as a class and I would write to them.  Then I sat down in a chair and gave them each a hug and affirmation individually.  It was really sweet, special and hard to do.  Then, before we knew it, they all had found their way to their parents or onto the bus and that was that.  


We had a staff "off to new adventures" party for me at Red Robin after the students were gone and I had cleaned up the feast in my classroom.  I was given a travel coffee mug with an insert with all of my students' pictures on it as well as a calendar with lots of pictures of my time spent at Malaga.  I was also given a pair of Tom's shoes that say "carpe diem" all over them.  Quite appropriate for this chapter of life.  My co-workers and I didn't officially say goodbye yet because we are planning on a beach weekend before I leave, so that was REALLY nice to know I didn't need to shed any tears over them yet.  :)  

Tears

An interesting title I know, but there have been quite a bit more tears shed these past months than in the past.  And the tears have come as a result of different events, but I was realizing tonight that they all are stemming from the same thing.  And that thing happens to be the life-changing time of my life that I'm preparing to transition into.  Thus the tears.  Unfortunately, some of the tears have triggered by less than important things: watching the end of Gone With the Wind and wishing Scarlett and Rhett could figure it out, listening to Harry Potter on my way home from work and feeling so excited and proud when Ron returns to Harry and Hermoine...  And being unable to sing in church on Sunday because of the hot tears that won't leave me alone every time we sing "In Christ Alone."  I supposed being moved during a song about Christ's death and resurrection is a "tear-worthy" event.  :)

Today was a first for me and that was that tears came flooding to my eyes and spilling out onto my face when I shared the news with my first graders that I was going to be moving and that they would be getting a new teacher.  They were so sweet and had a variety of different responses.  One of them told me that he and his friend in our class were also going to be moving to Costa Rica when they turned ten.  Another told me that she thinks I should give them all a picture of me and then we can take pictures together for me to take with me and remember them.  One asked me if I was going to live in a hotel there.  Several of them chimed in that they were going to miss me.  And the majority of them just kind of looked at me, unsure of what to do because they saw their teacher crying and they hadn't experienced that before.  In hindsight, I'm glad there were tears because I think that demonstrated to them how much I care about them and that it is going to be hard to say goodbye.  These will not be the last tears to be shed in my classroom I am quite certain.

All in all, I'm thankful for the tears and the reminder of the fact that this is a very important time in my life; to begin letting go of things and people here, and to be okay with the knowledge that it is not going to be easy.  More than the tears, there is an overwhelming sense of calling, purpose, and joy about where the Lord is leading me.  So bring them on, as long as they have a good reason for gracing me with their presence.  :)