Seeing the bigger picture

I am so thankful for my SI Costa Rica family.  Here we are pictured with our summer interns and a group from California that was with us for two weeks this summer.  As a staff, we are all so different from each other; age, gender, nationality, conflict style, leadership style, personality...but at the end of the day, we all are committed to being a part of this multicultural missions organization.  We share the same vision of seeing students (the North Americans who come to work with us) and the poor (community members) transformed into the likeness of Christ and discover their true calling.  

The Centro de Tutoria is undergoing some construction work and we decided that it would be better to close the Center for a few days because of the noise and dirt and disturbance.  That meant that Jose and I needed to find another place to be in the meantime.  As much as I missed my kiddos from Los Guido, it was SO GOOD to spend time with some of my coworkers and see what they do at their different ministry sites.  It is one thing to hear them talk about their kiddos and ladies that they work with, and it is another thing to see it for yourself.  I got to meet a young man in Las Fuentes who is working hard to make different life choices and actually just came home from a spiritual retreat through his church today.  I spent a day with my coworker Norma talking with both victims and perpetrators of bullying in a public school, with the goal being to get to the bottom of the hurt that is causing the mistreatment of their fellow students.  And I was able to help with an English class that we had for a group of teenage mommies, who had to grow up way too early in order to take care of their own babies.  We cannot change their life choices after the fact, but can help  be a part of them making better choices in how they parent and have relationships in the present and the future.

Sometimes I wonder if what we are doing in the communities really matters.  When we see situations of drug use and child abuse and violence and alcoholism happening in the homes of the kids and the women that we work with- does our presence in their lives make a difference?  We can get discouraged when we see hard situation after hard situation.  But I was reminded this week that we are called to plant seeds and to be faithful.  Sometimes we might get to see the fruit of our labor.  God has been so generous to me in showing me a bit of "fruit" when I think about some of my former high school youth group students in California and how they are following Jesus wholeheartedly now that they are college students.  But we are not promised that we will see fruit- Paul even said in 1 Corinthians 3:6 "I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow."  That's the key- it will be up to God when and how and where it will grow.  For now, I want to keep on planting seeds in the children and students that I work with.  And trust him to be faithful in the rest. 


As I said before, I'm encouraged by my staff and the different ministry sites that we have around Desamparados.  I am thankful that I now have a better understanding of what is happening in the Las Fuentes house and La Capri school and the Woodshop and the Microfinance groups.  (I could also talk about Sports and my friends in the Office and Child Sponsorship, but I didn't spend time with them this week.  But they certainly are being faithful to the call that God has given them here in Costa Rica as well.)  I see Jesus in my coworkers and I see why He has each of them in the ministry sites that they are assigned to.  May we each be faithful to plant the seeds where we are placed!

I wanna go deeper...

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever!  Amen.  Ephesians 3:20-21

I believe that the Lord has been taking me on a journey these past months and challenging me to dig deeper and decide if I really REALLY believe in His promises, in His love for me.  These verses written above are an incredible promise that He has given to us- "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine."  What?!  I feel like I can ask and imagine a lot.  And He's able to do so much more than that?  But I think the rub for me lately has been situations where I cannot imagine a good result or ending, where my faith is limited.  Pastor Steve from my home church Neighborhood Church has been told he has only a few months left to live because of a terminal brain cancer- do I truly believe that God could perform a miracle in his life?  And if that miracle does not come for Steve on this side of heaven, do I believe that God is still mighty and powerful and "to him be the glory?" 

I would imagine that I'm not alone in desiring to go deeper but also struggling a bit with some of the implications of these scriptures and promises.  I'm a bit late jumping on the bandwagon here, but during this past week that I've been off of work for a much needed vacation I read "Anything" by Jennie Allen.  (Sidenote: I read the original version she wrote in 2011 and am interested in getting the updated version that contains the companion Bible study).  But anyway, for those who haven't read the book, the premise is making the decision to stop chasing after things of this world, to once and for all surrender and abandon our lives and all of it's decisions to the Lord, and be willing to say "God, I/we will do anything for you."  To be completely honest, I don't know if I'm there yet- if I'm ready to say that I would do ANYTHING.  Anything, could mean, well, anything!  I realize that sounds redundant, but I don't want to think about God potentially calling me to be single for a lot longer or to go somewhere where I don't really want to go.  Selfish, I know, when I reflect on what God has done for me.  

But this is where I'm at right now.  Feeling challenged to go deeper, to be willing to be stripped of those things that I hold on to too tightly.  This season after our busy team season and when we don't have a semester program and it's just going to be Jose and Tara at the Tutoring Center for the near future- it's going to become a bit routine and challenging in a different way.  This is something I wrote recently in my prayer journal regarding this new chapter of life and ministry in Costa Rica: "...I want to give it (this post-team season) to you ahead of time.  I pray that you continue to use this season to take me deeper in you, to show me new things and grow me more.  I pray for creativity for Jose and myself in how we interact with and love on our kids.  I pray that you would renew our vision for them, remind us of why we are here, why you called us to SI and the Tutoring Center." 

Having a week off from being at the Tutoring Center is good and healthy.  Getting calls and texts from students who didn't know we were off and were asking if we can put them on the list for studying that afternoon is a reminder that we matter in this community.  There have been so many wonderful moments in the last months of light bulbs turning on and connections being made for both our Los Guido kids and the team members from the States.  Below are some pics of special moments and reminders of why we are here and of what the Lord is doing in all of our lives.

Full house as we watch Jose put on a spectacular puppet show!  He is so creative in sharing the Gospel with the kids in many different forms.

Three awesome college girls who loved on our kids, were wonderful servants, and are considering what the Lord has ahead of them in terms of teaching and missions.

We prayed up on the "mountain" with each group this summer, but this time was especially precious when we had a group of our kiddos join us.  And our sweet and sassy 4th grader Keylin had us all in tears when she prayed her own heartfelt prayer to our God.

We don't often have adult men on our outreaches to the Centro, and it was really fun to have two men from Texas join us for our last outreach.  Pictured here are Andy and Fabian, who really were able to figure out how to communicate and joke around across the language barrier.

"Let us become more aware of Your presence."

Where has the summer gone?!  It seems like just yesterday we were saying goodbye to our spring semester students and now we only have an outreach and a half to go before our "summer season" is over with.  I am so thankful that we have had the opportunity to work with so many wonderful high schoolers, college students, and adults over the past months in the Tutoring Center.  Every two weeks, new faces come in and are nervous about the language barrier, but are excited to love on our kids and help them the best that they can with their homework and test prep and art projects.  It is also such a joy to see how they fit into the vision of the Tutoring Center, and how by the end of day 3 they have started to build friendships with our kids that will continue into the second week of their outreach with us.

What about me?  What have I been learning these past months?  I will admit, sometimes in the hustle and bustle of trying to get the English speakers plugged in with the Spanish speakers and spending time with the interns and planning art lessons and Bible time- I don't have a lot of energy left to focus on me.  There is a danger in "doing missions without Jesus" because this work I do here is my job.  It is how I pay the bills, in a sense.  And it can become automatic- every other Wednesday morning I talk with the team about storing up treasures in heaven rather than treasures on earth, and about the importance of not worrying because each day has enough troubles of it's own.  Every morning and afternoon we pray with our team to start and end our work day.  Every Monday at staff meeting we talk about the Bible together.  I would imagine that anyone who has been in formal church or missionary ministry can understand where I'm coming from. 

But God is faithful and when I take the time to listen to the Holy Spirit, He continues to speak to me, to challenge me, to grow in me.  During one of our outreaches this summer we sang the song "Holy Spirit" every morning during devotions, and I was really struck by some of the lyrics: (speaking about the Holy Spirit)- "Let us become, more aware of your presence.  Let us experience the glory of your goodness."  As a believer, the Holy Spirit's presence is constantly with me.  I don't have to ask for His presence to be with me.  But I do need to be aware of His presence, to welcome His presence. 

We have also been going through Ephesians as a staff, focusing a lot on unity in the Body of Christ.  There are so many nuggets of truth that can be taken from those passages, including the idea of being really careful about the words we use and the talk we talk, but rather, "speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.  Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."  Now I don't know how literal we are supposed to take that, as in, do we really need to go around singing songs to each other all the time?  (Sidenote- I do LOVE musicals, so maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea. ;) )  But that part about always giving thanks for everything- if I'm giving thanks, it's pretty hard to say something rotten to or about someone.  If I'm giving thanks, it's hard to have a negative attitude towards someone.  That's where I'm at right now- wanting to be more aware of the Holy Spirit's presence in my life and to allow Him to renew my mind so that I can have more of an attitude of thanks that changes the way I speak to others. 

Transitioning from there- what would a blog post be without some photos of what's going on at the Tutoring Center?  Two weeks ago my students had their two week vacation from school, and we did a lot of fun workshops and a few field trips with the kids.  Below are some highlights of those activities.

Water Day!  It was a bit overcast this afternoon, but they had a blast!

Girls' club! 

So excited for our field trip to the National Stadium

Everyone was thrilled to be on the field level at the Stadium

Baking fruit pizzas with our 4-6 graders

1-3 graders enjoying their fruit pizzas.  They are adorable children, they just don't like smiling for pictures, apparently.

A picture is worth a thousand words

Many times when I sit down to write a blog, I have a topic or a theme that I would like to write about.  Some deep thoughts that I'd like to share with my faithful blog readers and supporters.  Tonight I would like to share a few different pictures and some short stories that go along with them, just to change it up.  Kind of like a snapshot of what's been going on around here and in my life the past month or so.

 This sweet first grade girl has been coming to the Centro since the beginning of this school year, and I really am encouraged by her enthusiasm for learning to read.  It does not come naturally for her, and she has missed quite a bit of school in the past.  There have been times during our "recess" breaks that she wants to read instead of going out to play with the other kids.  I love that she knows that she can come to the Tutoring Center and receive the extra attention that she really needs, as well as be in a place that is full of love and acceptance.

 The Tutoring Center is located near a pretty significant hill, and when you climb up that hill like we did in this picture, you are able to look out over the entire community and see the homes and schools and churches and corner stores that the children and their families frequent.  It has been a really powerful thing for us, as a group of full time staff and short term team members, to pray over the community of Los Guido, the Tutoring Center, and the families that we work with.

 UNO!  It would be safe to safe that Uno is played daily at the Tutoring Center.  Homework and studying for tests is our first priority, but after we have finished their tasks and done some reading from books in our library, the Uno cards come out.  I like to think that they are learning number sense, sportsmanship, reasoning skills, among other things.  And it is a great way to incorporate our English speaking short term team members. 

There are so many special students that I have known over the three + years that I've been working at the Centro.  These two girls are in 5th and 6th grade, and have been an important part of our upper grades group and my girls' group on Friday.  When I hear them talk about things of faith, their (mostly good) decisions regarding friendships and relating with peers, and see their desire to study and be a part of our program, it reminds me that what we do here is worth it.  It matters to these students, and they matter to us. 




Please keep us in your prayers as we are in the middle of a busy summer season of short term teams coming and going every two weeks.  "Bringing students and the poor together cross-culturally to encounter God, share the Good News, disciple and serve others in occupational ministries."  That's the mission of Students International, and why we are working at the Tutoring Center day after day.  Thanks for all your support of our ministry!!

In every season, You are still God

I figured that it was time that I write another blog post, but have had trouble coming up with what to write about.  These past few months have been filled with challenges for us as a staff, as we have seen people leave and have experienced some conflicts within ourselves and have also just been a bit discouraged in general.  None of those makes for a real uplifting blog post, so I think that's a big part of why I haven't felt like writing much lately.  I think that the longer I am a part of a formal ministry and also as I learn more and more about what it is to walk with Jesus, I see that there are these ups and downs, seasons of discouragements and seasons of much joy.  I don't think it's a coincidence that even as I'm writing this post, I'm listening to Hillsong en Español and hearing the words to this beautiful song:
En todo lugar
En todo tiempo 
Tú eres Dios 
Tengo un motivo al cantar 
Es mi deseo adorarte
The translation is: All of my life, in every season.  You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.  

Isn't that what it's all about?  He is still God in no matter what season we happen to find ourselves in.  And praise Him for that, because I don't want to live this life without our consistent and unchanging God of all.  

I thought that I'd borrow the idea of my fellow staff friend Theresa and mention some recent "Yay ducks and Yuck ducks" that I have experienced as of late.  The idea for the yay and yuck is that we live in a paradox as missionaries living in a culture not our own, with many things that are "yays" but also things that are "yucks."  We learned in our mission training prior to moving here that these are normal and that it is good and healthy to call attention to both of them.  So here we go...

Yay: I spent a great 9 days with friends and family in California a few weeks ago!  It was refreshing to my spirit and so fun.
Yuck: It was hard to come back, especially when my three-year old niece told me that she didn't want me to leave.

I got to go to a Dodger's game with my dad and my siblings.  Go, Blue!

We had lots of silly talks and fun play time together while I was in California.

Yay: We have had a number of new kids coming to the Tutoring Center in our "littles" group, and mom's who seem to care about their children's education.
Yuck: We have very few 4-6 grade girls, and this has really affected my Friday girls' club.  We had a really committed group last year, but since the majority of those girls graduated, we are having to kind of start from scratch and it has been kind of discouraging for me.

Our "goodbye" party for our two semester students with the littles and a few bigs.

Yay: I celebrated my 32nd birthday with my fun girlfriends here, and they were up for the challenge of dressing like super heroes.
Yuck: Getting older seems to mean the development of a more sensitive stomach.  I'm having to learn how to listen to my body more and more in regards to what and when I eat.

My European staff friends representing their countries' flags and being "super" at the same time.

Yay: Summer season is upon us and we will have many helpers coming through the door of the Tutoring Center the next weeks.
Yuck: My brain is exhausted at the end of every day from going back and forth between Spanish and English all day long.

Our interns from FPU, Evelyn and Mady, along with our Tico intern, Josue

Yay: It seems that rainy season has arrived and that means cooler temperatures, fresh air, and green everywhere!
Yuck:  I think, because my people in California are in such a drought, I better not say anything here about the "yuck" side of all the rain.  

Yay: Our staff has been spending a lot of time together lately, sharing meals and jumping on trampolines and just living life together.  I am so thankful for this community that I'm a part of!
Yuck: Being a single person in a foreign land is just hard.

Intern Alex and I taking some of our staff kids out to to the movies.  A quote from one of the girls- "This is the best day ever!"

Thanks for listening, err, reading.  I want this blog to be a place that I share things that are REAL, and that includes the yays and the yucks.  I'm thankful that we have a God that cares about all of those things.  That He doesn't promise that it will be all glossy shiny all the time.  But He does promise to be with us, that He wants to be in a relationship with us, despite all our "stuff."  I recently listened to one of the past sermons by my pastor from my church in Visalia, Steve Harms, and he said: "The message of Jesus is this- You don't have to grow, change, or be good to be loved.  You ARE loved so that you can grow, change, and be good."  Thank you for your big love, Lord.  Continue to grow and change us so we can be more like you.

 

The time that Mom and Mississippi and Arizona came

Two posts in one day, that's not really like me!  :)  But I thought I'd post a bit about what has been happening the last month or so in the ministry site as it has been quite the exciting time.  If you read my previous post, you will know that this weekend marks my 3rd anniversary of moving to Costa Rica.  It's hard to believe that three years ago I was practically a stranger at the Tutoring Center and to my SI staff.  Now I feel like I belong here, I greatly value my SI family and love all the kids that I know in the Los Guido community dearly.  

The past few groups that we have had serve with us at the Centro have been really special groups that have had a really neat connection with the kids that I work with on a daily basis.  A few weeks ago, we had a group of women, mostly from California, come for an outreach.  On that team was my mom and a good friend of our family, Karen.  My mom had asked me if it was okay with me if she was placed at the Tutoring Center for the outreach, and I was almost offended that she would even need to ask.  Of course I would want my mom to work with me and my kids for a week!  Having "Tara's mom" here was a big hit, and those who had met my dad in the past wanted to know why he didn't come too.  The other two women that were at our site were also wonderful helpers, one of which was a woman in her 70s who had been a missionary to the Philippines in the past, and the other a Visalia native who was a reading specialist.  And though you wouldn't think of it when you looked at them, those three ladies were AWESOME four square players and could hold their own with our students.

This past week we have had a group of high school students from Christian high schools in both Mississippi and Arizona.  We had a group of 5 junior and senior students, and they did an awesome job of using the little/moderate amount of Spanish they knew and connecting with our kids.  I think that the thick, Southern accents were a bit challenging for my kids to understand, but between smiles and hugs and tickles and basic Spanish phrases, communication was made possible.  These kids reminded me of myself in high school- in love with Jesus and wanting to see what He had for me in the future.  Insecure in many areas but sure of my love for kids and education.  I'm so thankful that they gave up a week of school and invested their time in the lives of my kids who will not soon forget them.  

Something that I don't always have the opportunity to do is to share my testimony with the groups that come, but I was able to do that this past week with the entire group of high school students and their leaders.  It can be a bit of a spiritual battle for me to share with them because I could easily feel like I don't have anything really exciting or "dramatic" to share with them like some of my co-workers do.  But God confirmed in me my story and my sharing when one of the seniors that worked with me this week shared that my story impacted her and encouraged her that she too could pursue being a single missionary woman in the future.  I was so blessed to hear that and know that the Lord can use any and all of our stories for His good, we just need to be willing and obedient to share.

Below are some pictures to highlight time spent with these two amazing teams:

Spending time with Mom at the La Paz Waterfall Gardens

Mom and the girls playing with our homemade playdough!

High school students doing a read aloud with a bilingual book about the 10 Commandments

We were at maximum capacity this afternoon- and all smiles!

Our sweet group of high schoolers spending time together at our Friday night banquet

 

Tres años en Costa Rica!!

March 8th marks my third year of living and working in Desamparados, Costa Rica!  Three years sounds like a long time and a brief amount of time at the same time.  In view of my third anniversary, I thought I would give you some "highlight footage" of some of the ups and downs I have experienced while living and serving here.

• A few weeks after my sweet Grandpa Roger passed on to be with Jesus and the same week that my first niece Kate Annmarie was born, I moved (with 5 pieces of luggage!) to Desamparados.
• Lived with a host family for my very first 10 weeks and shared a bathroom with a family of 5.  I unknowingly ate liver at their home, was spoiled by my host mom's care for me, and grew in my Spanish language ability.
• Survived 6 weeks of Spanish language school as the ONLY student in the school.  My grammar teacher was a bit severe and didn't have the best people skills, but BOY did I learn my grammar!
• 2012 had a full summer of non-stop, short-term outreaches, including 30 high schoolers from my home church- Neighborhood Church!  What a blessing to serve alongside my sweet, former youth group students and their leaders, my good friends.
• Got my license to drive soon after moving but bought my Suzuki Sidekick after 6 months of riding the bus everywhere.  Driving stick shift in Costa Rica = stressful and always an adventure to be sure!
• During Fall 2012 the distance of being far away from friends and family really set in and was a challenging time emotionally for me.  The Lord blessed me with the friendship of three single young women around my age who came to intern with us and I was able to spend some of my weekends and free time with them.  
• Spring 2013 was my first experience with the semester study abroad program in SI Costa Rica and we hosted the 12 FPU students in our home for "family nights" every Wednesday.
• During my parents' second visit to Costa Rica, we got to see the USA national soccer team play the Costa Rican national team.  Costa Rica won, as expected, but the other US fans at the stadium got plenty of "boos" and other negative words yelled at them.  That night sealed the deal that I am a fan of the Sele, or the Costa Rican team.
• I befriended and dated a nice Christian man for about 6 months that I met through church here.  I learned a lot and had a lot of fun, but in the end, we had too many differences that weren't going to work out for a long term relationship.  
• My youngest brother got married November 2013 and I flew back to CA for a super quick weekend in LA to celebrate with them.
• Spring 2014 brought a great group of semester student interns to the Tutoring Center, and I developed a strong relationship with the three placed with us.  They even wrote a song about me, loving called the "Taradactyl Song."
• Jose had to go to Texas for the summer months and I was quite concerned about what that was going to look like as me being the sole leader at the Centro during our busy team season.  The Lord provided the BEST intern in Alexis, a former student of mine from Neighborhood Church.  She stepped up to the plate day after day, and we had a great summer loving on our team members and Los Guido kids together.
• All 8 of us Frantzes had a dream come true vacation in November of 2014 together here in Costa Rica.  We had a house near the beach where we played and laughed and ate and just lived life together for a week.  I will cherish those memories forever.  
• November through February has been a challenging time for me health wise, and I ended up having an upper GI tract endoscopy here in a hospital in San Jose.  Medication and adjusting my diet for acid reflux and a hiatal hernia has improved how I feel a ton, and I'm praying that I am continuing on the road to 100% full and restored health.  
• And here we are, in March of 2015!  I am seeking the Lord about how long I am going to be here with SI in Costa Rica, and would ask those who pray for me and my ministry to do the same.  I want to do what is HIS best for me, and I'm not sure what that will look like for 2016.  Thanks, God, for all the good times and hard times.  You are working in me and growing me through them all.  You are faithful.