I believe that the Lord has been taking me on a journey these past months and challenging me to dig deeper and decide if I really REALLY believe in His promises, in His love for me. These verses written above are an incredible promise that He has given to us- "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine." What?! I feel like I can ask and imagine a lot. And He's able to do so much more than that? But I think the rub for me lately has been situations where I cannot imagine a good result or ending, where my faith is limited. Pastor Steve from my home church Neighborhood Church has been told he has only a few months left to live because of a terminal brain cancer- do I truly believe that God could perform a miracle in his life? And if that miracle does not come for Steve on this side of heaven, do I believe that God is still mighty and powerful and "to him be the glory?"
I would imagine that I'm not alone in desiring to go deeper but also struggling a bit with some of the implications of these scriptures and promises. I'm a bit late jumping on the bandwagon here, but during this past week that I've been off of work for a much needed vacation I read "Anything" by Jennie Allen. (Sidenote: I read the original version she wrote in 2011 and am interested in getting the updated version that contains the companion Bible study). But anyway, for those who haven't read the book, the premise is making the decision to stop chasing after things of this world, to once and for all surrender and abandon our lives and all of it's decisions to the Lord, and be willing to say "God, I/we will do anything for you." To be completely honest, I don't know if I'm there yet- if I'm ready to say that I would do ANYTHING. Anything, could mean, well, anything! I realize that sounds redundant, but I don't want to think about God potentially calling me to be single for a lot longer or to go somewhere where I don't really want to go. Selfish, I know, when I reflect on what God has done for me.
But this is where I'm at right now. Feeling challenged to go deeper, to be willing to be stripped of those things that I hold on to too tightly. This season after our busy team season and when we don't have a semester program and it's just going to be Jose and Tara at the Tutoring Center for the near future- it's going to become a bit routine and challenging in a different way. This is something I wrote recently in my prayer journal regarding this new chapter of life and ministry in Costa Rica: "...I want to give it (this post-team season) to you ahead of time. I pray that you continue to use this season to take me deeper in you, to show me new things and grow me more. I pray for creativity for Jose and myself in how we interact with and love on our kids. I pray that you would renew our vision for them, remind us of why we are here, why you called us to SI and the Tutoring Center."
Having a week off from being at the Tutoring Center is good and healthy. Getting calls and texts from students who didn't know we were off and were asking if we can put them on the list for studying that afternoon is a reminder that we matter in this community. There have been so many wonderful moments in the last months of light bulbs turning on and connections being made for both our Los Guido kids and the team members from the States. Below are some pics of special moments and reminders of why we are here and of what the Lord is doing in all of our lives.
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| Full house as we watch Jose put on a spectacular puppet show! He is so creative in sharing the Gospel with the kids in many different forms. |
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| Three awesome college girls who loved on our kids, were wonderful servants, and are considering what the Lord has ahead of them in terms of teaching and missions. |
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| We prayed up on the "mountain" with each group this summer, but this time was especially precious when we had a group of our kiddos join us. And our sweet and sassy 4th grader Keylin had us all in tears when she prayed her own heartfelt prayer to our God. |
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| We don't often have adult men on our outreaches to the Centro, and it was really fun to have two men from Texas join us for our last outreach. Pictured here are Andy and Fabian, who really were able to figure out how to communicate and joke around across the language barrier. |
