In every season, You are still God

I figured that it was time that I write another blog post, but have had trouble coming up with what to write about.  These past few months have been filled with challenges for us as a staff, as we have seen people leave and have experienced some conflicts within ourselves and have also just been a bit discouraged in general.  None of those makes for a real uplifting blog post, so I think that's a big part of why I haven't felt like writing much lately.  I think that the longer I am a part of a formal ministry and also as I learn more and more about what it is to walk with Jesus, I see that there are these ups and downs, seasons of discouragements and seasons of much joy.  I don't think it's a coincidence that even as I'm writing this post, I'm listening to Hillsong en Español and hearing the words to this beautiful song:
En todo lugar
En todo tiempo 
Tú eres Dios 
Tengo un motivo al cantar 
Es mi deseo adorarte
The translation is: All of my life, in every season.  You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.  

Isn't that what it's all about?  He is still God in no matter what season we happen to find ourselves in.  And praise Him for that, because I don't want to live this life without our consistent and unchanging God of all.  

I thought that I'd borrow the idea of my fellow staff friend Theresa and mention some recent "Yay ducks and Yuck ducks" that I have experienced as of late.  The idea for the yay and yuck is that we live in a paradox as missionaries living in a culture not our own, with many things that are "yays" but also things that are "yucks."  We learned in our mission training prior to moving here that these are normal and that it is good and healthy to call attention to both of them.  So here we go...

Yay: I spent a great 9 days with friends and family in California a few weeks ago!  It was refreshing to my spirit and so fun.
Yuck: It was hard to come back, especially when my three-year old niece told me that she didn't want me to leave.

I got to go to a Dodger's game with my dad and my siblings.  Go, Blue!

We had lots of silly talks and fun play time together while I was in California.

Yay: We have had a number of new kids coming to the Tutoring Center in our "littles" group, and mom's who seem to care about their children's education.
Yuck: We have very few 4-6 grade girls, and this has really affected my Friday girls' club.  We had a really committed group last year, but since the majority of those girls graduated, we are having to kind of start from scratch and it has been kind of discouraging for me.

Our "goodbye" party for our two semester students with the littles and a few bigs.

Yay: I celebrated my 32nd birthday with my fun girlfriends here, and they were up for the challenge of dressing like super heroes.
Yuck: Getting older seems to mean the development of a more sensitive stomach.  I'm having to learn how to listen to my body more and more in regards to what and when I eat.

My European staff friends representing their countries' flags and being "super" at the same time.

Yay: Summer season is upon us and we will have many helpers coming through the door of the Tutoring Center the next weeks.
Yuck: My brain is exhausted at the end of every day from going back and forth between Spanish and English all day long.

Our interns from FPU, Evelyn and Mady, along with our Tico intern, Josue

Yay: It seems that rainy season has arrived and that means cooler temperatures, fresh air, and green everywhere!
Yuck:  I think, because my people in California are in such a drought, I better not say anything here about the "yuck" side of all the rain.  

Yay: Our staff has been spending a lot of time together lately, sharing meals and jumping on trampolines and just living life together.  I am so thankful for this community that I'm a part of!
Yuck: Being a single person in a foreign land is just hard.

Intern Alex and I taking some of our staff kids out to to the movies.  A quote from one of the girls- "This is the best day ever!"

Thanks for listening, err, reading.  I want this blog to be a place that I share things that are REAL, and that includes the yays and the yucks.  I'm thankful that we have a God that cares about all of those things.  That He doesn't promise that it will be all glossy shiny all the time.  But He does promise to be with us, that He wants to be in a relationship with us, despite all our "stuff."  I recently listened to one of the past sermons by my pastor from my church in Visalia, Steve Harms, and he said: "The message of Jesus is this- You don't have to grow, change, or be good to be loved.  You ARE loved so that you can grow, change, and be good."  Thank you for your big love, Lord.  Continue to grow and change us so we can be more like you.

 

The time that Mom and Mississippi and Arizona came

Two posts in one day, that's not really like me!  :)  But I thought I'd post a bit about what has been happening the last month or so in the ministry site as it has been quite the exciting time.  If you read my previous post, you will know that this weekend marks my 3rd anniversary of moving to Costa Rica.  It's hard to believe that three years ago I was practically a stranger at the Tutoring Center and to my SI staff.  Now I feel like I belong here, I greatly value my SI family and love all the kids that I know in the Los Guido community dearly.  

The past few groups that we have had serve with us at the Centro have been really special groups that have had a really neat connection with the kids that I work with on a daily basis.  A few weeks ago, we had a group of women, mostly from California, come for an outreach.  On that team was my mom and a good friend of our family, Karen.  My mom had asked me if it was okay with me if she was placed at the Tutoring Center for the outreach, and I was almost offended that she would even need to ask.  Of course I would want my mom to work with me and my kids for a week!  Having "Tara's mom" here was a big hit, and those who had met my dad in the past wanted to know why he didn't come too.  The other two women that were at our site were also wonderful helpers, one of which was a woman in her 70s who had been a missionary to the Philippines in the past, and the other a Visalia native who was a reading specialist.  And though you wouldn't think of it when you looked at them, those three ladies were AWESOME four square players and could hold their own with our students.

This past week we have had a group of high school students from Christian high schools in both Mississippi and Arizona.  We had a group of 5 junior and senior students, and they did an awesome job of using the little/moderate amount of Spanish they knew and connecting with our kids.  I think that the thick, Southern accents were a bit challenging for my kids to understand, but between smiles and hugs and tickles and basic Spanish phrases, communication was made possible.  These kids reminded me of myself in high school- in love with Jesus and wanting to see what He had for me in the future.  Insecure in many areas but sure of my love for kids and education.  I'm so thankful that they gave up a week of school and invested their time in the lives of my kids who will not soon forget them.  

Something that I don't always have the opportunity to do is to share my testimony with the groups that come, but I was able to do that this past week with the entire group of high school students and their leaders.  It can be a bit of a spiritual battle for me to share with them because I could easily feel like I don't have anything really exciting or "dramatic" to share with them like some of my co-workers do.  But God confirmed in me my story and my sharing when one of the seniors that worked with me this week shared that my story impacted her and encouraged her that she too could pursue being a single missionary woman in the future.  I was so blessed to hear that and know that the Lord can use any and all of our stories for His good, we just need to be willing and obedient to share.

Below are some pictures to highlight time spent with these two amazing teams:

Spending time with Mom at the La Paz Waterfall Gardens

Mom and the girls playing with our homemade playdough!

High school students doing a read aloud with a bilingual book about the 10 Commandments

We were at maximum capacity this afternoon- and all smiles!

Our sweet group of high schoolers spending time together at our Friday night banquet

 

Tres años en Costa Rica!!

March 8th marks my third year of living and working in Desamparados, Costa Rica!  Three years sounds like a long time and a brief amount of time at the same time.  In view of my third anniversary, I thought I would give you some "highlight footage" of some of the ups and downs I have experienced while living and serving here.

• A few weeks after my sweet Grandpa Roger passed on to be with Jesus and the same week that my first niece Kate Annmarie was born, I moved (with 5 pieces of luggage!) to Desamparados.
• Lived with a host family for my very first 10 weeks and shared a bathroom with a family of 5.  I unknowingly ate liver at their home, was spoiled by my host mom's care for me, and grew in my Spanish language ability.
• Survived 6 weeks of Spanish language school as the ONLY student in the school.  My grammar teacher was a bit severe and didn't have the best people skills, but BOY did I learn my grammar!
• 2012 had a full summer of non-stop, short-term outreaches, including 30 high schoolers from my home church- Neighborhood Church!  What a blessing to serve alongside my sweet, former youth group students and their leaders, my good friends.
• Got my license to drive soon after moving but bought my Suzuki Sidekick after 6 months of riding the bus everywhere.  Driving stick shift in Costa Rica = stressful and always an adventure to be sure!
• During Fall 2012 the distance of being far away from friends and family really set in and was a challenging time emotionally for me.  The Lord blessed me with the friendship of three single young women around my age who came to intern with us and I was able to spend some of my weekends and free time with them.  
• Spring 2013 was my first experience with the semester study abroad program in SI Costa Rica and we hosted the 12 FPU students in our home for "family nights" every Wednesday.
• During my parents' second visit to Costa Rica, we got to see the USA national soccer team play the Costa Rican national team.  Costa Rica won, as expected, but the other US fans at the stadium got plenty of "boos" and other negative words yelled at them.  That night sealed the deal that I am a fan of the Sele, or the Costa Rican team.
• I befriended and dated a nice Christian man for about 6 months that I met through church here.  I learned a lot and had a lot of fun, but in the end, we had too many differences that weren't going to work out for a long term relationship.  
• My youngest brother got married November 2013 and I flew back to CA for a super quick weekend in LA to celebrate with them.
• Spring 2014 brought a great group of semester student interns to the Tutoring Center, and I developed a strong relationship with the three placed with us.  They even wrote a song about me, loving called the "Taradactyl Song."
• Jose had to go to Texas for the summer months and I was quite concerned about what that was going to look like as me being the sole leader at the Centro during our busy team season.  The Lord provided the BEST intern in Alexis, a former student of mine from Neighborhood Church.  She stepped up to the plate day after day, and we had a great summer loving on our team members and Los Guido kids together.
• All 8 of us Frantzes had a dream come true vacation in November of 2014 together here in Costa Rica.  We had a house near the beach where we played and laughed and ate and just lived life together for a week.  I will cherish those memories forever.  
• November through February has been a challenging time for me health wise, and I ended up having an upper GI tract endoscopy here in a hospital in San Jose.  Medication and adjusting my diet for acid reflux and a hiatal hernia has improved how I feel a ton, and I'm praying that I am continuing on the road to 100% full and restored health.  
• And here we are, in March of 2015!  I am seeking the Lord about how long I am going to be here with SI in Costa Rica, and would ask those who pray for me and my ministry to do the same.  I want to do what is HIS best for me, and I'm not sure what that will look like for 2016.  Thanks, God, for all the good times and hard times.  You are working in me and growing me through them all.  You are faithful. 

Learnings from an (eventful) trip down the river

I love having students here with us for numerous reasons, and one kind of selfish reason is because I get to do exciting activities with them because, well, they always need a "guide" to go with them.  Generally if I am available, I am down to go on their excursions with them, and a canopy zip line and white water rafting adventure sounded like a fun Saturday plan.  I have been zip lining here in Costa Rica more times than I can count (such a hard job I have!) and also been white water rafting a few times as well.  I also thought that for that reason, me being an "experienced" zip liner and rafting adventurer, I could also be a good person to go along and accompany the "newbies" that had never been.  The white water adventure, however, turned out to be more eventful than I would have wanted when I found myself having to quite literally swim for my life after being unexpectedly tossed out of the boat.  Before I get too dramatic in my storytelling, here are some pics of our adventures yesterday: (Thanks, Tori and Evelyn, for the great pics!)

All ready to hit the river

6 of our semester students and their fearless guide

Ready to zip through the canopy

The ziplining adventure went without an issue and everyone had a great time flying through the trees.  We feasted on build your own nachos that were especially delicious because of how hungry we were, and then it was time to go rafting.  As mentioned earlier, I have been rafting twice already here in Costa Rica and once in California, and my last CR experience we faced some Class 4 rapids.  Because of this, and it being dry season here, I really wasn't concerned about it being difficult or dangerous.  I was in the raft with my SI staff friend Jana, her three friends visiting from Europe, semester student Tori, and our guide.  The guide was the same guide I had two years ago when I went rafting with the same company on the same river, so that was fun to be repeating that experience with him.  Right away when we took off down the river, we were faced with a pretty big rapid, and there were a lot of screams and nervous shouts from my fellow rafters.  I could tell that a few of them were concerned about our safety and not so sure about participating in this adventure, but like it or not, we were on the river.  

I honestly can't remember what happened next, but before I knew it, I found myself launched out of the front of the raft, bouncing along down the river and every second getting further away from the boat.  I tried to grab the rope that was around the raft, but the river was too strong and pulled me away before I could get a good grip.  Worse than the shock of being tossed out or the temperature of the water was the fact that my life jacket seemed to almost be weighing me down and I was struggling to breathe without taking in a lot of water.  Soon I realized that two other ladies had been thrown out too, and we made eye contact to assure that we were "okay."  I tried to think back to what our guide JJ had told us about which direction my feet were supposed to face, but the water kept spinning me around and I felt really disorientated.  Next thing I knew, the "rescue" bag and rope was thrown out to me, and I took a hold of it and felt myself being pulled in towards the boat.  When I got close, JJ leaned over and with great force, pulled me in by my life jacket and I felt a relief rush over me.  My heart was beating SO fast and I felt really emotional about the reality of what had just happened.  While I was in the water, I felt so helpless and confused, and also fearful that they might not be able to catch up to me to rescue me.  The other two girls were also pulled back into the boat, and then we somehow made it over to the shore  to take a breather and regroup.  (Now I know that people get thrown out of the raft all the time when doing this, but it had never happened to me or anyone in my raft, and the fear and helplessness that I felt at that moment was quite real.)  Our boat was pretty shaken up, and the three of us who had been in the water were ready to call it quits and not finish the adventure.  But that wasn't an option; we had to continue.  

I was reflecting on that experience on the way home and this morning as well.  (Obviously we finished our rafting journey and ended up having a great time- no more incidents.  When asked if we wanted to jump out and take a swim in the calmer waters downstream, JJ was responded to with a resounding "NO" from our boat.)  So many songs have been written about rivers and their movements, and I unintentionally chose "Rivers In the Wasteland" by Needtobreathe to listen to on the trip home back from day trip.  (Sidenote- they are an AMAZING band and I would encourage you to check out this song here at this link: More Heart, Less Attack).  But isn't life truly like a trip down a river?  We are all in the raft, we are floating along and may even feel confident and comfortable out there because of our life experiences, maturity, knowledge, etc.  But sometimes there are things that come along unexpectedly and sometimes quite literally throw us out of the boat and into the churning waters.  We might feel like we are drowning, we might panic because we don't know what to do in that moment, we might lose focus on the One who can save us and bring us back to where we are supposed to be.  But He isn't going to give up on us, He won't leave us in the water to drown if we are seeking Him and wanting to be saved.  He sometimes uses other people to bring us back to Him, sometimes He miraculously intervenes Himself.  And sometimes, after being rescued, we may feel shaken up, not wanting to put ourselves out there again, to try something that seems a bit risky.  But oh what we would miss out on if we threw in the paddle and gave up on participating in the journey.

I apologize for being more long winded than usual in this post, but there are times where I feel like the Lord has spoken to me in a specific way and I am to share my learnings and journey with others.  Does the image of life with God as a trip down a river resonate with anyone else?  (I have to say that my friend Ashley and I have talked about this idea before, and so I may subconsciously be borrowing from her a bit here in this post. :) ) I'd love to hear your thoughts.  Thanks to Him for being the ultimate Guide on this adventure called life; I am so thankful.

2015, here we go!

I realize that it's been 2015 for 12 days already and so my post title might sound a bit strange, but hey, it's my first post of this new year.  A new year always means time for a bit of reflection, as well as looking forward at what is to come.  I have been back in Costa Rica for a little over a week after having spent three weeks in California visiting with friends and family.  This was my third Christmas vacation since living in Costa Rica, and each time I go "home" there are always a lot of emotions.  Excitement to see so many people I love in a short amount of time, delight at eating at many of my favorite places, a business of trying to fit as much and as many people in as I can during that time without being a crazy person, and a strangeness because I don't quite "fit in" like I did before.  I realize that people's lives have gone on and everyone has had their own experiences like I have over the past three years.  And my life has quite obviously changed in the past three years.  But all that being said, it is encouraging to my heart to be loved on and to have so many good conversations with people who have known me well prior to Costa Rica.

I don't know all that 2015 holds for me.  I know that today, this day, I live in Desamparados and am part of Students International.  Tomorrow will be the first day back in the Tutoring Center with my kiddos and they are eager to have something to do again since they have been on their summer holiday for a month now.  I know that I am excited about having semester students with us and a number of short term teams coming down to help out.  And I know that I have a God that is WAY wiser than me and knows what is to come.  I want to be obedient today, in how I live this day.  Not easy, especially for a planner like me.  If nothing else, I know that these past threeish years He has been teaching me about being more flexible.  Not always fun, but such a good lesson to be learning.  Bring it on, 2015, let's see what you have for me, for all of us.  

Below are some pics from my time in California:

My dear family along with Grandma and Grandpa

Some of my favorite ladies in Visalia

Disney with my friend Ashley and SI friends and roomies Cailah and Rose

Gorgeous lookout from a day trip to Sequoia National Park

The Frantz family does Costa Rica

Last year at Christmas time, my family members and I (mainly my siblings) were throwing out the idea of having an all-Frantz family vacation in Costa Rica.  Obviously I was all about this idea because that meant that my family would come to visit me in this beautiful country AND I would get some vacation time off work!  Mom and Dad had been here to visit me the past two Septembers, Peter and Toni had been here for vacation before I lived here, and Courtney had been an intern with us at SI my first summer...but to have them all here at the same time would be so different and such a treat.  Fast forward to this past spring, and the decision was made that November 2014 was for sure going to be a Frantz family vacation in Costa Rica!!

A lot of preparation was done on my family's part because they were the ones traveling here and I kind of just sat back and gave advice about what type of clothes to pack, etc.  To be honest, I was a bit nervous about spending an entire week together in a house with no escaping one another.  I am blessed to have a family that all knows and loves the Lord and enjoys spending time with one another, but I am not naive and know that sometimes too much time together can cause conflict and personality clashes.  As a rule, we are not quiet, super chill people either, and so the potential to butt heads was great.  But I am so happy to say that we had an absolutely WONDERFUL week together with no real feelings getting hurt or conflicts to deal with.  I think that the Lord blessed us with sweet times together, and I was able to be refreshed and encouraged by each member of my family at different moments.  Of course, one of the highlights was spending the week with my niece Kate, who was born only two weeks before I made the move to Costa Rica.  She is such a fun, smart, friendly and beautiful 2 1/2 year old (of course, I'm biased) and it was such a joy to hang out with her so much.  

What did we do while we were all together?  We got sun burnt on the beach, boogie boarded, zip lined, went deep sea fishing, played games, cooked, went out for good eats, prayed, laughed, trekked through the rain forest, and just hung out.  And a highlight for me was having them all come to the Tutoring Center for library time on Friday and get to see where I work and who I work with.  My Tico students were so excited to meet my family that they always hear about, and it was such a blessing to see them interacting.  You can only share with people so much through words and pictures, but to have loved ones visit the community where you live and work is invaluable.  My students will be talking about playing four-square, making paper airplanes, and playing Uno with my family for many weeks to come.  

Here are some picture highlights of our time spent together:

Brothers, sister in law Courtney and me, ready to go deep sea fishing!

Aaron with the most awesome catch of the day, a 90lbs sail fish!

Dad and his kids

Aunt Tara and Kate having a serious talk on the beach

Introducing my family to my kids and co-workers at the Centro

Peter, Toni, Kate and me outside my home

Enjoying the beauty of Manuel Antonio National Park

Balance

Our staff went on a retreat last weekend and it was a great time of playing together, worshiping together, eating together, and being encouraged together.  We had an excellent speaker who has worked for many years in Latin America with World Vision and understands very much what community development and working with "the poor" looks like.  I appreciated very much that instead of speaking in lofty terms and about things that weren't super relate able, he talked to us about this idea of balance in life basing it on the book of Ecclesiastes.  This is not a book of the Bible that I have spent much time studying, besides the famous "A time for..." chapter.  Our speaker talked about the cynical words that the author of Ecclesiastes shares about the reality of life- it's "meaningless" and all that matters is to enjoy your toil and food and drink, etc.  But without this being an excuse to check out of this life and just do whatever you want, he was challenging us more to invest and work hard and love well the people of our communities and in our lives, but also not become hardened and cynical and miss out on the opportunities to enjoy the simple things in life. 

I was thinking about this idea of balance and the things that I see that make me want to harden my heart some and on the other end, the things that provide me encouragement and remind me that there is goodness in the world.  And that goodness can only come from Christ.  Seeing a line of cars stopped and waiting while an older gentleman with a cane and his younger family member cross the road together.  The woman who gives up her seat on the bus to a young mother and baby when the bus is full.  The fifth grade girl who quotes our lesson about "loving her neighbor" when I asked the group what their plans were for the rest of the day.  My supervisor and his wife inviting me to have dinner with their family when they have very busy lives between their own work and family lives here.  Receiving a gift of papaya from my watchy man Oscar when I know he doesn't have any too much money to buy things for others.  A Tico co-worker and his wife pulling me aside during the retreat to encourage me and affirm that they know it must be hard to live so far away from family and friends and that the Lord surely is and will continue to bless me for it. 

These are the moments that I want to hold on to when seeking the balance between the work and the difficulties and the simple joys and encouragements in life.  I'd like to challenge you to think of what you need to do to find that balance in your lives as well.  Thankfully, we are not left to do it on our own, but have the Holy Spirit living in us to guide and direct us.  But we need to listen to Him, and obey.  I'm speaking to the choir here.  :)

Here are some pics of what's being going on during this fall (and slower without North American students!) season here at SI Costa Rica:

Making cupcakes for a "Frozen" themed party for a ten year old friend

Beginning readers at the Centro

Of course we continue to bake delicious things at girls' club!

3rd graders making a map of the world all on their own.  Maybe not exactly proportional but a great job still.

15 de setiembre parade with my little blondie Tica friend