Tears Part II

Friday was the day I said goodbye to my students.  It was the first group of people that I am going to say goodbye to before I relocate to Costa Rica.  I don't think I was really prepared for the day or what exactly it would all look like, I just knew that I wanted it to be special and say "good good-byes" as I had been wisely advised.  For the past few weeks we had been talking about how we were going to have a party on the last day of school to celebrate Christmas and say goodbye to Miss Frantz.  The notes had been written to the parents, the snacks and paper goods had been purchased, the individualized Christmas cards to students had been filled out.  I had already been receiving sweet notes from my first graders and other students at the school that week, telling me that they were going to miss me.

Friday came and I got there early because I had yard duty.  Side note, it was by far one of the coldest mornings we've had this December, so I was decked out in my snowboarding jacket, fluffy boots, mittens, etc.  My janitor came in to bring some snacks he had bought for his son, who is one of my students.  He gave me a hug and told me how he was going to miss joking around with me and how he was so glad his son had me as his teacher and I just lost it.  I was not planning on crying with the first person I talked to on Friday morning, but there it was.  Moving on to breakfast...at my school, every morning the teachers go into the cafeteria to pick up the students from breakfast while the our principal is giving announcements.  My good intentions were to take the microphone and share some heartfelt words with the student body about how I was going to miss them.  My principal beat me to it and had them all say "Costa Rica" in unison and clap for me, and I just couldn't do it.  Second round of tears.


Once we were inside our classroom, I was able to pull myself together and we had a good morning of me opening my presents from the students and reading the sweet notes they gave me, and reading two of my favorite Christmas books to them.  The morning passed quickly with different activities and the ever important task of cleaning out their desks.  When we went out to recess, I was bombarded by 2nd-5th grade students, mostly girls, who came up to me in little groups and gave hugs and more notes.  That was really special to me because between my classroom students, after school Enrichment students, and intervention groups I run, I know almost every student at Malaga School.  Having a chance to say goodbye to a lot of those students individually was something I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do and was pleased it worked itself out.

Our class "party" consisted of more bags of chips, Christmas cookies, juice boxes, and Little Ceasar's Pizza than four classrooms should have consummed.  We eventually packed up, sent each student home with a bag bulging with snacks, and made a circle outside.  Again, not really knowing what to say exactly, I tearfully told them that I was really going to miss them and that I was sorry I wasn't going to be their teacher after Christmas.  I told them I was really glad that they had a wonderful new teacher coming and that I wanted them all to keep working hard.  I also told them that I loved them and wanted to make sure they wrote to me as a class and I would write to them.  Then I sat down in a chair and gave them each a hug and affirmation individually.  It was really sweet, special and hard to do.  Then, before we knew it, they all had found their way to their parents or onto the bus and that was that.  


We had a staff "off to new adventures" party for me at Red Robin after the students were gone and I had cleaned up the feast in my classroom.  I was given a travel coffee mug with an insert with all of my students' pictures on it as well as a calendar with lots of pictures of my time spent at Malaga.  I was also given a pair of Tom's shoes that say "carpe diem" all over them.  Quite appropriate for this chapter of life.  My co-workers and I didn't officially say goodbye yet because we are planning on a beach weekend before I leave, so that was REALLY nice to know I didn't need to shed any tears over them yet.  :)  

Tears

An interesting title I know, but there have been quite a bit more tears shed these past months than in the past.  And the tears have come as a result of different events, but I was realizing tonight that they all are stemming from the same thing.  And that thing happens to be the life-changing time of my life that I'm preparing to transition into.  Thus the tears.  Unfortunately, some of the tears have triggered by less than important things: watching the end of Gone With the Wind and wishing Scarlett and Rhett could figure it out, listening to Harry Potter on my way home from work and feeling so excited and proud when Ron returns to Harry and Hermoine...  And being unable to sing in church on Sunday because of the hot tears that won't leave me alone every time we sing "In Christ Alone."  I supposed being moved during a song about Christ's death and resurrection is a "tear-worthy" event.  :)

Today was a first for me and that was that tears came flooding to my eyes and spilling out onto my face when I shared the news with my first graders that I was going to be moving and that they would be getting a new teacher.  They were so sweet and had a variety of different responses.  One of them told me that he and his friend in our class were also going to be moving to Costa Rica when they turned ten.  Another told me that she thinks I should give them all a picture of me and then we can take pictures together for me to take with me and remember them.  One asked me if I was going to live in a hotel there.  Several of them chimed in that they were going to miss me.  And the majority of them just kind of looked at me, unsure of what to do because they saw their teacher crying and they hadn't experienced that before.  In hindsight, I'm glad there were tears because I think that demonstrated to them how much I care about them and that it is going to be hard to say goodbye.  These will not be the last tears to be shed in my classroom I am quite certain.

All in all, I'm thankful for the tears and the reminder of the fact that this is a very important time in my life; to begin letting go of things and people here, and to be okay with the knowledge that it is not going to be easy.  More than the tears, there is an overwhelming sense of calling, purpose, and joy about where the Lord is leading me.  So bring them on, as long as they have a good reason for gracing me with their presence.  :)

Giving Thanks

Just to change it up a bit, I thought I'd post some pictures of what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving day.

Sweet drawings from my students

Amazing adventures around the world

My fun and supportive family

Entertaining friends who live here, there and everywhere...

This precious group of kiddos I am preparing to work with in Costa Rica!

And so many other things that I don't have pictures of:
my warm home
my reliable car
my fantastic extended family
my job for the past five and a half years
always having plenty of food
my church family
the beautiful fall colors on the trees
my health
all the generous friends and family joining my support team
and above all, our Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally

Let's give thanks today!

Rainy Sunday

It's been dreary and raining most of today and it's got me thinking about the rain ahead for me in Costa Rica.  My mom bought me a really unique and stylish pair of rain boots, so I'm set to be the gringa with the loud rain boots tromping through the rain of San Jose.  :)  With the rain comes life and beauty, and those are two things that Costa Rica is known for.  As much as I love the Central Valley of California, I will not miss the yucky air quality and the days where I know the mountains are so close but I'm unable to see them because of pollution.  Bring on the rain!

I've been reading a book called "Funding Your Ministry" and it has been really insightful in what the Bible says about fundraising and support raising.  There was a chapter in there called "Just for single women" and it made me laugh, wondering what the author could have to say to me that wouldn't apply to my friends who are married or who are male and going through this process.  Essentially it was discussing the fact that it can be more difficult for a single woman to fundraise and it may take longer for her support to come in for various reasons.  All that to say, I am SO THANKFUL that this has not been the case for me and my journey to be fully funded.  As I type this, I am only needing one or two more monthly supporters at $50 a month and I will have met my goal!!!  Wow!!  The fact that I am still a few months out from the big move and I am practically there with my goal being met is just such an affirmation to me that this is where I need to be and the path I need to be on.  It's an overwhelming feeling to know that I'm right where God wants me and I can't really describe it beyond saying that it is a place of contentment and joy and of faith.  

I am on the countdown for days left working at my school.  There are 16 1/2 teaching days left for me.  That's not very many.  And within those 16 1/2 days I need to fill my students in on my plans.  I'm not really looking forward to that to be honest.  On Tuesday I had a young lady spend the day in my classroom to see if she was interested in taking over my class for the rest of the school year.  I came to find out that she is a Christian and we have some mutual friends!  I would be thrilled if I knew I was leaving my group of kiddos in the hands of a dedicated Jesus-follower like her.  That's something to be praying about, as well as for the conversation that needs to be had with my students and their families.

Two days of work this week and then a five day weekend to celebrate Thanksgiving!  This is hands down the best meal of the year (thanks, Grandma!) and I'm looking forward to spending time with family and friends.  :) So much to be thankful for.

It's all becoming more and more real

It's becoming a tradition for me to blog on Sundays with my most recent updates.  This week was action packed!  Monday was the day I officially put in my letter of resignation with my principal, school and district.  At staff meeting on Wednesday it was announced that I will be leaving at Christmas and I was touched by the kind words and support expressed to me.  I'm not going to pretend like it isn't hard to look around at our close knit staff and see tears in the eyes of the people I have grown close with over the past five and a half years.  It is such a blessing to be told that they are proud of me and excited for me in this next chapter of life the Lord is leading me through. 

On Thursday evening when I checked my financial support on I was thrilled to see that I was only $300 away from being 100% fully funded each month, and then by the end of Friday I was $150 shy of the goal!  Praise God!  Needless to say, all of the aforementioned action that happened at work and now seeing that my funding is SO CLOSE to being completed have made my going to Costa Rica very real to me. 

Some next steps for me are to start the process of getting a visa, and that involves a lot of paperwork, a visit to the Costa Rican consulute, and I'm sure a lot of waiting and being patient.  Getting prayer cards designed and printed to send out to all my wonderful supporters needs to happen in the next month or so as well.  

This weekend also made me realize how much I care about my group of junior girls from church and how much I'm going to miss them.  Many of these girls have been in my small group (along with my fabulous co-leader and friend Jessica :) since they were in seventh grade.  We have seen them go through junior high and all it's drama, entering high school, changes in friendships and boyfriends, and now getting their licenses and thinking about college.  I am so thrilled that a good chunk of them are going to be on the youth team that is coming down to work with me and the rest of the SI Costa Rica staff in July.  It was be so special to see how God works in and through them at the ministry sites and through the experiences in the Costa Rican culture.

                         Jessica and me with our beautiful high schoolers :)

Fall is here

     When I think about this fundraising process and realize that I have only been officially fundraising since the end of August (two months ago), I'm just amazed at how much has happened.  $1,400 in monthly support has been raised, which leaves $600 left to go.  $600 kind of sounds like a big number, but $1400 is a much bigger number that has already been provided for.  $600 is 8 people at $50 a month and 2 people at $100 a month.  I feel like I keep saying this over and over again but this whole journey that the Lord has me on and this process of raising my necessary living expenses has been so eye opening and affirming for me.  The fantastic news is that $12,000 of my one time costs are already in!!  When I came home from my time in Costa Rica last July, these numbers were really overwhelming and I couldn't even think about how they were going to be taken care of beyond the fact that I knew the Lord would provide according to His timing.  Wow, God!

     Things at school are slowing down a little bit now that parent conferences and Red Ribbon week are over.  The conferences that I conducted in Spanish with some of my parents were not without their flaws, but we were able to understand each other and I was able to communicate what I needed to share about their students.  A few of the parents looked at me with kind of a surprised look on their face when I told them I was going to do my best to communicate with them in Spanish.  There have been a few times this school year where my students are not understanding (or else are choosing not to listen) to my directions, so I switch to speaking in Spanish and that gets their attention real quick.  My one little boy who is already making a name for himself as a fantastic storyteller told me that "just because my hair is black doesn't mean you need to talk to me like that" (meaning in Spanish).  This group of students is really a sweet and oftentimes funny group of kiddos, and I'm very thankful for that.  Last year was a really trying year for me in many ways, and I know that God has blessed me with a group of students to end on a high note with rather than a "good riddance" note.

     This time of year is busy with so many activities involving the fall season and friends.  In the past few weeks I have enjoyed both the Tulare and Fresno fairs, several costume parties, and am REALLY looking forward to a trip to Disneyland with my friends from Visalia in November.  There's a little bit of sadness knowing that the next few years I will not be able to experience these things, but I'm very thankful for these times and the sweet memories they bring.  I am encouraged knowing that I have a large support group that I am going out from, and my ministry and life in Costa Rica will be prayed for on a daily basis.

                                         A hot day at the Big Big Big Fresno Fair

                                         Concert in the park with co-workers

                 Red lips and nails for Halloween!

Halfway there! Halfway to go...

I am pleased to announce that I am halfway to be fully funded as a Students International staff person!  The past few weeks I have had some more dear friends and family join my support team and I am encouraged each time I see another name on my list.  It's such a humbling thing to know that I have people believe in me and in the call that the Lord has given me, and want to make sure that I'm able to GO and fulfill that call.  So THANK YOU for your prayers and financial gifts, I am so grateful.

This week has also been an interesting one for me emotionally.  I have had several different moments of realization that I'm going to be moving and leaving family, friends, my job, my home, my car, my youth group girls that I've been with for four years, my church...and it makes me sad to think about that.  I have been so blessed by all these things and have grown to love Visalia.  I think it hit me when I heard the wonderful news of a dear friend's pregnancy and realized that I will be missing out on that birth and the first years of their life.  But I know that everyone special to me here will not be able to experience all that I will be experiencing there either.  I'm very thankful for technology and the fact that I will be able to video skype and facebook and email.  But I will miss zumba with my friends on Tuesday night, praying with and having dinner with my ladies Thursday nights, lunch after church with the crew, etc.  I know that there will be more moments of realization how big of a deal this move will actually be, but I think it just began to feel real to me this week thinking about these things.

In other news, I was also reminded that His timing and ways are not always my timing and ways this week.  The "plan" had been for me to go to Missions Training International in Colorado in the middle of January and then move to Costa Rica at the beginning of February.  I found out this week that the training I had signed up for and put a deposit down for was full with a 10 person waiting list already.  None of the other sessions were full, including one this month, in November and in February.  I was really bummed when I received this news and still partly am, but I'm trying to remember that it is in His control when I go.  I will now most likely go to the training that starts later in February and move mid-March.  The silver lining is that I would be able to meet my niece or nephew who is going to be born at the end of February before I would move, whereas if I moved at the beginning of February I would miss out on that.  It's continuing to be a journey of surrendering all aspects of the move and the fundraising and the tying up loose ends here to Him.  And I'm sure this is not the last "bump" in the road and change of plans.  

This week is parent conferences for me at my school.  I'm challenging myself and not having a translator to help with my Spanish speaking parents but speaking to them on my own.  I made a cheat sheet of academic vocabulary that I may use and praying the rest goes well.  I need to start getting used to thinking academically in Spanish!  :) 

First newsletter

I just realized that maybe some of you might not even know what I'm doing or talking about when I say I'm fundraising and moving to Costa Rica to work with Students International.  The link below will take you to my first newsletter that gives all of that information.  I probably should have posted it first, but I'm new to this blog thing.  :)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/67097795/Newsletter-Aug-2011

On speaking tour...

The past few weeks have been kinda busy and exciting on the fundraising side of things!  I had the opportunity to share in the Shafter MB church two weeks ago and at Neighborhood Church in Visalia this past Sunday.  While a bit nerve racking, it was such a blessing to be able to tell friends, family, and fellow followers of Jesus what God has been doing in my life over the past few years and where He is leading me.  It was really fun for me to share in Shafter because that is the church that I spent the first eighteen years of my life in.  That was where I came to a relationship with Christ, grew in my knowledge of Jesus and the Bible, served in youth ministry, and had my first missions trip experience.  I was really confirmed and blessed by the people of that congregation by kind words and encouragement.  

Sharing at Neighborhood was quite different; for one thing, we have two services there so I got to stand on stage in front of lots of people two times.  Also, the worship center is really big and there were a lot of pairs of eyes staring up at me!  But it was so exciting to get to talk to people after the service, people that I had never met before but somehow had a connection to Students International, teaching or Costa Rica.  I was blessed with the opportunity to be able to let me church for the past six years know what my next step is on this journey of faith and trust.

The good news is that my fundraising is coming in!!  I have about $650 pledged monthly with the goal being about $2000.  My good friend Ashely, a numbers person through and through, informed me that I'm about a third of the way there to meet my goal.  My one-time costs funds are coming in and I'm blown away at the generosity of friends and family.  I need about $10,000 to pay for plane tickets, 3 weeks of missions training in Colorado, Spanish language school, Visa and residency costs, moving costs, possibly a used car...and I'm about halfway there with $5000 in my account thus far!  Praise God, I am so blessed.  :)  It has honestly been strange for me to talk to people and ask for money, it's not something I've ever experienced in this way.  But I know that this is part of the journey of trust and stepping out that the Lord has me on, and He's proving to be faithful in providing for my needs.

Another really great piece of news is that I was able to talk with my principal and dear friends at my school, and while there is sadness for the hole that I will be leaving in our school community, they are excited and supportive of me.  I will need to put in a letter of resignation within the next month, so I'm praying that I will have enough of my support pledged or in my account to project that my February departure date is a reality.  If you think of it, I'd cherish prayers for continual wisdom in all these decisions I'm having to make and that support will continue to come in, in His timing. 

Starting school and fundraising, all at once!

Today was the 13th day of school for me.  The 13th day of my sixth year of teaching first grade.  I'm very thankful for a good class of curious little six year olds who are starting to figure out how to find the correct practice book page on their own.  They are also learning that I won't tie their shoes for them, mainly because they often have wet shoe laces for what could be a variety of reasons and that's just gross.  I am coming home daily with interesting stories about what they ask me, what they told me about my wardrobe for the day, and what adventures we read about in the story Cat Sat on the Mat.

Meanwhile, I have been having conversations almost daily with people about my plans for joining the SI Costa Rica staff!  It has been so exciting for me to see how many people in my life are honestly interested to see and hear what the Lord has been teaching me and where He has been directing me.  The first day of school I had my wonderful group of friends in Visalia help me address, stamp, return address, stuff and lick the envelopes for over 120 fundraising newsletters!  I couldn't have done it without them.  What a blessing to have such a fabulous group of women who love the Lord and are encouraging me every step of the way.  Today I put the last big batch of letters in the mail so they should be in the hands of more friends and family by the end of this week.  It was quite an endeavor but I feel proud to have finished step 1 of the fundraising communication.

I have the opportunity in the next few weeks to talk briefly in both my church here in Visalia and in the church I grew up going to in Shafter.  I have already been able to share with people from both congregations, but I am excited to be able to do so in a more official setting.  It also kind of freaks me out to see all those staring eyes looking up at me!  :) 

It's been quite a journey already, and I know I have only just begin!  One day at a time, that's all I can do and trust in Him for.

Coming Soon!

I've never posted a blog before and this is going to be a short one.  I just wanted to actually create the blog so that I can have a website address to put on my newsletters when sending them out.  I promise to put up some deep thoughts, updates, fun pictures, etc, when I have deep thoughts, updates, and fun pictures to share.  So please check back soon!  :)